Pages

Thursday, November 6, 2008

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

NOTE: I have posted this previously, but took it down to post the Halloween candy recall info. If you've already read this, feel free to move on...and thanks for stopping by!
ALSO: I was in TJ Maxx yesterday (SURPRISE...I know), and they are having 20% off everything...including clearance, this weekend! From what I was told, this applies to Home Goods & Marshall's too!
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ...

But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

Is you body a car?

Note: My model doesn't have ALL of these problems yet, but I'm sure they're on the way!

(Adapted from an e-mail)

16 comments:

bj said...

Well, my "car" isn't broken down yet but, at almost 71, it is sure gettin' there FAST ....tee hee

Oh, and the sandwiches at our picnic...not Peanut Butter, Jelly AND cheese all on the same sandwiches...PB&J and seperate Cheese Sandwiches...nope, all together doesn't sound all that great.....
have a great day...
love, bj

Stacey said...

Oh you are so funny. At 45 I hate to admit that I'm already feeling like that car sometimes!!

I love your mission statement!!

jeanne said...

Good morning Tardevil, I have not seen this yet. I had a big laugh and a sigh at the same time. LOL. I am 69 and suffering from some of these things. However, I am alive and kicking and I intend to keep it that way.

Hugs...Jeanne

Raxx - A day in the life said...

LOL!! I came over to tell you I am developing a bad case of 'blogging butt' too!

This was a funny read!

Kristen said...

How funny

bj said...

WOOOOO HOOOOO....TJMAXX is my favorite store...thanks for the heads up on the sale ...I just got out of the shower, got cloths on and am going over there just as soon as they open at 10....
Thanks, sister friend...
love, bj

Nancy said...

Well, Tardevil, I needed that laugh!!! Thanks for stopping by the other day and entering my giveaway! Come back anytime! nancy

Carolina Mama said...

Or you could say BlueHeels! :) I noticed that NC and followed it own over... from other Tarheel fan.

Come play the 5 Things I Love game... I'd love to compare. :) Similarities or differences of our region.

ThriftyDecorChick said...

Shut. Up. Twenty percent off??? ARgh I was trying not to spend money!!!

Nancy said...

Miss Tardevil, Do we look that bad?LOL I loved Dallas and I was a huge Knots Landing Fan...Okay, I am showing my age! Oh well...thanks for the compliment....I think..nancy

Nancy said...

Oh no no no offence was taken...I loved it! Nancy

Darlene said...

Hehehehehe....I think most of those apply to me!!!! Great fun post!!

nikkicrumpet said...

OH MY...that would be even more funny if it wasn't so dang true! I'm sick of the radiator leaks!!!! Great post!

Sue said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and your great comment. Looks like a lot of fun going on around here. I will be back.
Hugs,
Sue

santamaker said...

Love the part about the radiator leaks... yup !
By the way , you don't have to worry, got a load of laundry done today so, I won't be having to "go commando"...LOL

The Braceguard People said...

My name is Linda S Amstutz and I am the author and registered copyright holder of the essay, IF MY BODY WERE A CAR, which you have published, without my permission, on your blog post dated November 6.(You can view my copyright at http://www.braceguard.com/ifmybodywereacar.htm.)

If you wish to keep my essay on your blog, please add this under in the post under the essay, "c2003 Linda S Amstutz. If you liked this essay, you will enjoy her new romance comedy, SEEING RED, available at Amazon."

Please make the book title a hyperlink to http://www.amazon.com/Seeing-Red-Linda-S-Amstutz/dp/1583742077/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235584917&sr=8-1

I would very much appreciate your help in this matter. If you do not wish to add my copyright notice, byline and link to my book, then please delete my essay from your blog. Blogger does not approve of unauthorized use of copyrighted material.

Sincerely:

Linda S Amstutz
http://anotherlinda.blogspot.com